Tag Archives: Caddilac Tah

Irv Gotti Presents: The Remixes

Various Artists
Irv Gotti Presents: the Remixes
November 5, 2002
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG
050/100
Irv Gotti Presents the Remixes

1. The Remixes [Skit] // 2. Unfoolish (Ashanti feat. the Notorious B.I.G.) // 3. I’m So Happy (Ashanti feat. Charlie Baltimore, D.O. Cannons & Young Merc) // 4. The Pledge [Remix] (Ashanti, Ja Rule, NaS & 2pac) // 5. O.G. [Remix] (Black Child & Caddilac Tah) // 6. Boss [Skit] // 7. Me & My Boyfriend (Toni Braxton feat. 2pac) // 8. Come-N-Go (Ashanti, Ja Rule, Caddilac Tah & 7Aurelius) // 9. Poverlous (Caddilac Tah)  // 10. Spanish Dancing [Skit] // 11. Rainy Dayz [Remix] (Mary J. Blige feat. Ja Rule) // 12. Moreno [Skit] // 13. Baby [Remix] (Ashanti feat. Scarface) // 14. Hard Livin’ (D.O. Cannons & Young Merc) // 15. No One Does It Better (Black Child, Caddilac Tah & Ja Rule) // 16. Remo’s Back [Skit] // 17. We Dem Boyz (Let’s Ride) (Chink Santana, D.O. Cannons & Young Merc) // 18. Baby [Remix] (Ashanti feat. Crooked I)

Remixes of tried and true hits and some added bonuses in the form of new tracks by Caddilac Tah and Black Child and some new cats (groan). 2pac involentarily pops up on two tracks, one of which, a Toni Braxton song, at least techically actually could have happened back in the ’90s because both Toni and Pac were around, and which started a beef between Braxton and Jay-Z who sampled the same pac song for his ’03 Bonnie & Clyde.

Scarface his vocals, featured first on a song called Mary Jane are reused for a remix of Ashanti’s Baby because the original already had stolen its beat already anyway. Then at the tail end of this dated novelty project a horribly miscast Crooked I re-does the re-mix in order to appear in full Ja Rule-capacity in its video, complete with mink coat. (I’m sure he doesn’t like it Joe, Joell and Royce bring that shit up.)

But hey some of the Ashanti tracks aren’t horrible, except for Unfoolish, which although it doesn’t sound bad, we had heard already on her own album, and which graverobs Biggie and morbidly puts him on the same album as 2pac, they’re all welcome additions to het catalogue. I’m So Happy more or less swipes the beat from the Gap Band’s Outstanding, which the original titled Happy did in a much more subtle manner, and The Pledge [Remix] replaces Caddilac Tah with NaS (no complaints there besides the 2pac thing.)

Besides Irv ruining Jeffrey’s Mary J. Blige duet Rainiy Dayz nobody does anything else worth mentioning so I’mma call it a day.

Best tracks
I’m So Happy, The Pledge [Remix], Baby [Remix] (Crooked I version)

Recommendations
What do you think?

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Ja Rule – The Last Temptation

Ja Rule
The Last Temptation
November 19, 2002
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG
050/100
Ja Rule - The Last Temptation

1. Intro // 2. Thug Lovin’ (feat. Bobby Brown) // 3. Mesmerize (feat. Ashanti) // 4. Pop Niggas (feat. Pharrell) // 5. The Pledge [Remix] (feat. NaS, Ashanti & 2pac) // 6. Murder Reigns // 7. Murder Me (feat. Caddilac Tah & Alexi) // 8. The Warning // 9. Connected (feat. Eastwood, Crooked I & Chink Santana) // 10. Emerica (feat. Young Life & Chink Santana) // 11. Rock Star // 12. Destiny [Outro]

Ja Rule hadn’t really had any major backlashes in his career up until the gruff-voiced reincarnation of Luther Vandross released The Last Temptation. Sure, that Fiddy guy didn’t like him too much and his old homeboy DMX had said some less than complementary things about him on record, but his first three albums had all been multi platinum sellers and booty bumping with J-Lo on I’m Real [Remix] and Ain’t It Funny [Remix] sure had been fun. It also seemed that because of How to Rob nobody in the hiphop community liked mr. Cent, and his debut album had been shelved, and he himself had been dropped from his record label, making him not a force to be reckoned with in the rap game.

Then Curtis Jackson got signed again, arguably to the biggest powerhouse label in hip-hop: Eminem’s Shady Records. He was talking shit again, about how Jeffrey was a sellout R&B artist and a 2pac imitating wanksta, and this time the world listened and nodded. So The Last Temptation desperately needed to re-establish Ja’s credibility.

At the same time Ja’s previous album had him and Irv Gotti finding a winning formula: Ja posturing grimily over hella slick beats with Ashanti singing a hook. This had sold Ja boatloads of albums and a stack of hit singles. He also had an audience to satisfy. And audience that wanted him to reprise Always on Time a couple of times.

These two contradictory ideas that stand at the foundation of The Last Temptation, a fascinatingly schizofrenic listen with a lot of truly mystifying choices being made.

After a rant of an intro things start off well enough with Thug lovin’which pick Whitney Houston’s then-hubby Bobby Brown out of the crack rocks moth balls to aid Jeffrey in a smoothed-out song of rugged romance. Mesmerize is a decent sequel to Always on Time that samples, ironically enough, the same source material as Ghetto Qu’ran, the song that allegedly got F. Cent shot nine times. No surprises there, musically or lyrically.

Then Ja remembers the streets all of a sudden and invites Pharrell over for a DMX/Fiddy Cent disfest. Not much worth mentioning here except for that it raises the question whether or not Skateboard P willingly helped create a 50/X dis, or was simply asked for a beat and e-mailed his most generic, never even remembering the fact and being hella surprised when the Murder Inc. paycheck came in the mail.

Murder Reigns samples Toto’s Africa of all things and has Ja going all 2pac/martyr on the listener. Speaking of the man, his disembodied voice can be heard on the outro of The Pledge [Remix], which also samples his own So Many Tears, for the beat. That’s fucking blasphemous, and I’m not even really that much of a Pac fan. The fuck NaS!? Were you threatened with grievous bodily harm into participating with this ridiculous horseshit? It would seem that there’s even a subliminal Snoop Dogg-diss in Ja’s verse, this was most likely instigated by Suge who gets a shout-out.

The title track had Irv Gotti breaking out a Rappers Delight-esque faux disco beat, and features the Notorious B.I.G.’s one-time dip on the side Charlie Baltimore dueting Jeffrey, who reverts back to his old constipated Barry White with laryngitis tricks on the hook, making the song unlistenable even though Baltimore actually sounds pretty good.

Murder Me draws inspiration from Anniversary by Tony! Toni! Toné!, and has Ja breaking out some of the worst sex lyrics The Last Temptation‘s side of Pretty Ricky’s Your BodyThe Last Temptation is by far hip-hop’s largest, most decadent waste of a sampling budget since Puff Diddy reigned over the charts. But apparently they saved the money on guest appearances, because except for Pharrell’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance on Pop Niggaz and Nasir’s verse, there’s no one on here who wouldn’t work for food. One has to wonder whether Gotti ever truly considered releasing albums by the likes of Caddilac Tah and Young Life.

Because Suge cleared the 2pac raping-and-pillageing that was Pain on Pain is Love and The Pledge [Remix] on here, two Death Row records get to spit alongside Jeffrey on Connected. It’s a highlight, what with Chink Santana’s Nate Dogg-esque vocals on the hook and his Dat Nigga Daz aping beat and Crooked I and Eastwood providing the best verses on this project, bar NaS. Emerica is another ecstasy anthem and Ja’s worst one yet.

Rock Star goes for the tried-and-true throw-some-rock-guitars-on-a-hip-hop-song-and-hope-for-crossover-appeal gimmick. Fans of both genres should hang their heads in shame.

The outro is a pretty decent machine gun funk beat, and Jeffrey certainly does his best with it, but ultimately it’s too little, too late.

Ja Rule actually held the advantage in the 50 Cent thing, up to this point, having sold milions of records and with nobody knowing who Curtis was. With this album however he more or less killed his own career before 50’s practice round was even over and his first real blow, in the form of Get Rich or Die Trying was even delt by at the same time trying to please everyone and being so self important that he creates music that borders on self-parody.

Best tracks
Thug Lovin’
Mesmerize
Connected
Destiny [Outro]

Recommedations
The above songs are some fanstastic naughties nostalgia, but the rest of this album is a total waste of time and money, and needs not be touched with a ten foot pole.


Irv Gotti Presents: the Inc.

Various artists
Irv Gotti presents: the Inc
July 2, 2002
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG
050/100
Various artists - Irv Gotti presents the Inc

1. Intro (Irv Gotti, Chink Santana, Ronnie Bumps & Caddilac Tah) // 2. Gangstafied (Ja Rule, Caddilac Tah & Chink Santana) // 3. Down 4 U (Ja Rule, Ashanti, Vita & Charlie Baltimore) // 4. Nobody Does It Better (Charlie Baltimore & Ashanti) // 5. It’s Murda (Caddilac Tah, Chink Santana & D.C.) // 6. The Pledge (Ashanti & Caddilac Tah) // 7. Ride With Us (Jody Mack, Black Child & 0-1) // 8. O.G. (Black Child) // 9. The Rain (Jody Mack, 0-1 & Ja Rule) // 10. Here We Come (Vita, Irv Gotti & Ronnie Bumps) // 11. We Still Don’t Give a Fuck (Ronnie Bumps, D.O. Cannons, Young Merc, Jody mack, Rah, 0-1, Charlie Baltimore, Caddilac Tah & Black Child) // 12. 1 Hearse, 2 Suburban (Black Child, Ronnie Bumps & Young Merc) // 13. Ain’t It Funny [Remix] (Jennifer Lopez, Ja Rule & Caddilac Tah) // 14. Tha Nexx Niggaz (Chink Santana, Eastwood, Crooked I, Ronnie Bumps, Dave Bing, Black Child & Caddilac Tah) // 15. DC Joe [Skit] // 16. Hold On (Chink Santana)

A huge step up from Irv Gotti Presents: the Murderers but that’s not saying much. The production is slightly better than on either Pain is Love or Ashanti, which is saying something because production was mostly what those albums have going for them.

The fact that this manages to still be a less pleasant listening experience than either of those two albums is because this is ment to promote a revolving door cast of people nobody wants to hear record music. The best tracks on here feature vocals by people who already were known to the general public, so it’s a total failiure in that aspect. The only new guy who comes off as semi decent is Chink Santana who adds a faux West Coast vibe to some of these tracks with his Nate Dogg meets Bone Thugs vocals on some of the refrains and his Daz Dillinger-esque beats.

One bit of trivia will be of interest to fans of today’s hiphop. Crooked I makes a brief appearance on the posse cut Tha Nexx Niggaz, with Eastwood, because Death Row records, his record label at that time, had some kind of side deal with the Inc. that required Row and Inc. artists to appear on one another’s projects. Not that one-and-a-half bar by Crooked I make the Nexx Niggaz a must-listen or anything. And the gazilion bars by the likes of Caddilac Tah and Black Child will make any fan of well-written rap’s head explode. At least Crooked gets his contribution out of the way early, so you can turn that shit off when he’s done and get on with your life.

Not that everything here sounds like shit. Down 4 U is a prime Ja-Ashanti duet for those who are into that sort of thing, the Pledge is mostly Ashanti doing her thing over a bastardised 2pac beat. And Gangstafied, the opening track has a beat so teriffically ominous that even Caddy and Ronnie Bumps can’t completely wreck it, although not for lack of trying, mind you.

If this album were stripped of all the vocals of weed carriers and replaced by those of Jeffrey, or better yet a competent rapper like for instance the previously mentioned Crooked I, this might’ve been a rather decent album. Alas it is what it is.

Best tracks
Gangstafied
Down 4 U
The Pledge

Recommendations
Download the above tracks of iTunes or Amazon or Spotify.


Ja Rule – Pain Is Love

Ja Rule
Pain Is Love
October 2, 2001
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG
060/100
Ja Rule - Pain Is Love

1. Pain Is Love [Skit] // 2. Dial M for Murder // 3. Livin’ It Up (feat. Case) // 4. The INC. (feat. Caddilac Tah, Black Child & Ashanti) // 5. Always On Time (feat. Ashanti) // 6. Down Ass Bitch (feat. Charlie Baltimore) // 7. Never Again // 8. Worldwide Gangsta (feat. Caddilac Tah, Black Child, Boo & Gotti) // 9. Leo [Skit] // 10. I’m Real [Murder Remix] (feat. Jennifer Lopez) // 11. Smokin’ & Ridin’ (feat. Jodie Mack & 0-1) // 12. (feat. Missy Elliot & Tweet) // 13. Big Remo [Skit] // 14. Lost Little Girl // 15. So Much Pain (feat. 2Pac) // 16. Pain Is Love

Ja Rule’s debut wasn’t so much good or promising as it was well-produced. His sophomore album sucked so much forcing people to listen to it could be a decent alternative to waterboarding. The Murderers album was even worse and the Fast and the Furious soundtrack was pretty goddamn underwhelming. Despite these minor quality complaints each and every one of them got gold to multi-platinum sales, thereby granting Jeffrey Atkins the chance to record a third solo album and also in the process giving Murder Inc. a large stack of plaques to hang onto the Crackhouse (the Murder Inc. recording studios) walls. It also lead to Ja becoming hottest MC in the game whose gravelly falsetto popped up on every second song on the radio, not limited to hiphop songs. Ja was pretty much 2001’s equivalent to Lil’ Wayne.

In the mean time the Murder Inc. sound, in a rather succesful attempt to become relevant evolved from something aching to DMX and his Ruff Ryders posse (Venni Vetti VecciIrv Gotti Presents… the Murderers) to an album that was split in the middle between that sound and something that sounded a lot like Sisqó with a severe laryngitis (Rule 3:36) to Pain Is Love.

Pain continues the evolution set in motion by songs like Between Me and You and Put It On Me and this album, like 3:36 is certainly made with both the streets and the pop charts in mind. The difference this time around however is that the line between the songs for the gangstas and the songs for the hoes is blurred. This is mostly due to new Inc. associate 7Aurelius, who co-produced most of Pain Is Love with label boss Irv Gotti and finally brought an identifiable production sound to the Murder Inc. label and Ja Rule the rapper, effectively making Ja his own man, owing little to DMX.

The flipside to this mostly positive development is that instead of being the DMX-clone he had been percieved as when his debut came out, he became a gangsta posturing 2001 approximation of Barry White, who even though he couldn’t rob an old lady if he were backed by the whole US army,  nevertheless included horribly a blasphemous word-for-word cover of an obscure 2pac song about ghetto hardship on his album with one verse by the Thug Life inventor himself thrown in for good measure. Not the best idea, that. This, as well as similarities between Jeffrey and Tupac, both vocally and appearance-wise, coincidental or not, would make the man a fish in a barrel when that 50 Cent character Ja had beef with would someday rise to prominence. But no-one could see that shit coming in 2001. And for a year or two Ja was the king of crossover thugs, sipping bubbly and rocking minks and Burberry hats like it was going out of fashion. (It was.)

Although lyrically he hadn’t evolved jack shit since his debut the new song-format and new producer, as well as the signing of R&B singer Ashanti, do give Ja the ability to pull some new tricks. Always on Time may be R&B to the point that it makes one wonder how Pain is Love ever ended up in the Hiphop department of your record store, but it is R&B par excellence and this tale of rugged romance is even well enough performed Jeffrey, whose gruff voice clashes wonderfully with 7’s sultry instrumental, that it is wholly derserving of its monster hit status. Ashanti’s syren call-esque hook is just icing on the cake. Her significance becomes clear when Ja gets to belt out his own hook, such as on the horrible pseudo futuristically produced, half-assed attempt at social commentary Lost Little Girl.

Another highlight is the Stevie Wonder sampling Livin’ It Up. This track was originally supposed to have appeared on 3:36 but Stevie wouldn’t clear the sample unless Murder Inc. would clear it of all its profanity, which they couldn’t do before the deadline. They decided to put the new, squeaky clean version on Pain is Love in stead. Although this censorship renders the song’s lyrics gibberish one would say that Jeffrey was never about lyrics and this in no way takes away from its effectiveness as a piece of wide-eyed, bouncy club fluff-fun.

Down Ass Bitch and I’m Real [Murder Remix] are pushing it. The former suffers from anther horrible Ja-the-singing-cookie-monster hook and a general Always on Time-redux sound. The latter has a Ja, who may or may not have had a couple too many Bacardi Breezers, get all cuddly, lovey-dovey with J-Lo, who makes everything even more awkward by dropping the N-word, even though she’s about as Afro-American as George W. Bush. The song works as a time travelling machine to the barely pre-9/11 time of this album’s release, but not so much as an actual song. X, featuring Missy Elliott who proves once again she sounds fine dueting anyone over any sort of beat, has that same cotton candy sound. But rightfully so, since the song is about the drug Ecstasy.

7Aurelius’ talent becomes even more apparent when on the posse cuts The INC.Worldwide Gangstas and Smokin’ and Ridin’  he makes even Jeffrey’s poppers and ecstasy carriers, who are too marginal to name individually, sound not like total shit.

Never Again has 7 and Irv flipping their slight pop sound to something just a little darker and Jeffrey even spits some not-entirely-inane lyrics on his experience of several existential problems, so that’s nice. It’s easily the best non-single off here.

Listening to Pain Is Love today one can easily see why it was such a hit with pop audiences worldwide. With a couple of unstoppable party singles, some even guiltier pleasures and a lot of rather bearable, inoffensive filler it makes for the perfect music to play in the background of a party. The big surprise is that except for I’m Real it hasn’t even aged as bad as one would think. It also made its creator the perfect stepping stone for Curtis Jackson, when he finally got to release an album, since by 2003 hiphop was getting pretty sick of him. Oh well.

Best tracks
Always On Time, Livin´ It Up, Never Again

Recommendations
You could go either way with this one. You could pick this up, but if you do you must make sure there’s no-one in the record store who could recognise you. Also make sure you tell the sales clerk that it’s an ironic gift or that it’s for a 2001-styled hipster theme party, or something. Then again your life will be just as much worth living if you never get to hear Lost Little Girl, so you could leave it wherever you found it without ever looking back, that’s fine too. With three million sold in the USA alone Pain is Love hardly needs your pity.


The Fast and the Furious (OST)

Various Artists
The Fast and the Furious (OST)
June 5, 2001
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG
050/100

1. Good Life [Remix] (Faith Evans feat. Ja Rule, Vita & Caddilac Tah) // 2. Pov City Anthem (Caddilac Tah) // 3. When a Man Does Wrong (Ashanti) // 4. Race Against Time II (Tank feat. Ja Rule) // 5. Furious (Ja Rule feat. Vita & 0-1) // 6. Take My Time Tonight (R. Kelly) // 7. Suicide (Scarface feat. Irv Gotti) // 8. The Prayer (Black Child) // 9. Tudunn Tudunn Tudunn (Funkmaster Flex feat. Noreaga) // 10. Hustlin’ (Fat Joe & Armageddon) // 11. Freestyle (Boo & Gotti) // 12. Rollin’ (Urban Assault Vehicle) (Limp Bizkit feat. DMX, Method man & Redman) // 13. Life Ain’t a Game (Ja Rule) // 14. Cali Diseaz (Shade Sheist feat. Nate Dogg) // 15. Didn’t I (Petey Pablo) 16. Put It On Me [Remix] (Ja Rule feat. Vita & Lil’ Mo) // 17. Justify My Love (Vita feat. Ashanti)

It’s a testament of Murder Inc. records’ popularity around the turn of the millenium that they were given the responsibility to create the soundtrack to the first volume in the series of underwhelming high budget Hollywood blockbuster films that seems to never stop spawning sequels that is the Fast and The Furious.

Since Irv Gotti was instrumental in bringing Jay-Z, DMX and Ja Rule to the general public one has to wonder what the hell happened to his tastes in rap music between those days and the moment Def Jam granted him his own label Murder Inc. Records. That was more or less the point I tried to make in my Irv Gotti Presents… the Murderers review. And it rings tue here too. Vita, Caddilac Tah and Black Child ruin an otherwise perfectly functional opening track: Faith Evans’ Good Life [Remix]. When they get to suck on their own the results are even worse. Pov City Anthem, The Prayer and Justify My Love are two instances of instantly skippable loudmouth wanksta rap and a ridiculous cover of a ridiculous Madonna song. Ja Rule himself doesn’t come off too well  either. Fuck You, lifted from his horrible sophomore album Rule 3:36, justifies DMX’s complaints about Ja taking his style and pissing all over it. Life Ain’t a Game has him sing-howling his way through a pseudo futuristic DaMizza beat. The one Rule joint here that warrant repeated listens is the radio edit of his hit single Put It On Me, which now includes Lil’ Mo. Since Ja’s 2000 solo album 3:36 includes an inferior Lil’ Mo-less version of the song there’s quite literally no reason to buy that. If anything that might give this album a raison d’être. And even that track is more of a “Haha, can you believe we used to listen to that shit ten years ago?” kind of guilty pleasure-y thing rather than an actual good song.

Luckily there’s more to it than Ja and Irv Gotti’s merry band of soon-to-be-stars this time around. Tank’s rendition of Ja Rule’s Race Against Time sounds pretty good. R. Kelly does his R. Kelly thing on Take My Time Tonight which will neither gain nor cost the man fans. Suicide has southern hip-hop veteran Scarface flip a line from Snoop Dogg’s Serial Killa to decent effectand for fansof Shade Sheist, Petey Pablo, Boo & Gotti, Terror Squad, Noreaga (you’re forgiven if you’ve never heard of any of these artists, none of them are relevant any more) and fucking Limp Bizkit there’s something to be found here.

Production varies from decent (Suicide, Race Against Time) to horrible (Rollin’ (Urban Assault Vehicle), Life Ain’t A Game). And so does everything else. This makes for incredibly inessential listening. Still, for the Murder inc. Record label this was a step up after Irv Gotti presents… The Murderers and Rule 3:36. In part this has to do with the hired talent but also with their latest signee Ashanti and their new producer 7Aurelius. Perhaps Pain Is Love will be the first Murder Inc. Release since Venni Vetti Vecci that will not be a chore to listen to, huh?

Best tracks
Race Against Time II, Suicide, Put It On Me [Remix], *Good Life [Remix]

*Technically not on any edition of this soundtrack, but most likely found on a DJ Clue mixtape. Replaces the Ain’t No Nigga beat with a less distractingly familiar one. It also replaces bullshit Caddilac Tah and Vita verses with lukewarm but inoffensive Ja Rule.

Recommendations
Buy the above tracks off Amazon.


Irv Gotti Presents… the Murderers

Various artists
Irv Gotti presents… 
The Murderers
March 21, 2000
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG

040/100

1. Intro // 2. Murderers (Ja Rule, Black Child & Tah Murdah) // 3. Dem Niggaz (Ja Rule, Black Child, Tah Murdah & Vita) // 4. We Don’t Give a Fuck (Ja Rule, Black Child, Tah Murdah & Vita) // 5. Clowns [Skit] // 6. Shit Gets Ugly // 7. We Murderers Baby (Ja Rule & Vita) // 8. Interview With Vita [Skit] // 9. Vita, Vita, Vita (Vita) // 10. How Many Wanna Die (Ja Rule) // 11. Fuck Parole [Skit] // 12. We Getting High Tonight (Black Child) // 13. Tales From the Dark Side (DMX) // 14. I Love The Yankees [Skit] // 15. Get It Right (Tah Murdah) // 16. We Different (Tah Murdah, Black Child & Ja Rule) // 17. Remo [Skit] // 18. Rebels Symphony (Ja Rule, Vita, Tah Murdah, 01 & Black Child) // 19. Black Or White (Black Child) // 20. The 187 Murda Baptist Church Picnic [Skit] // 21. If You Were My Bitch (Shade Sheist, Black Child, Tah Murdah & Ja Rule) // 22. 96R-0709 (Chris Black) // 23. Crime Scene (Dave Bing, Black Child, Ronnie Bumps, Tah Murdah & 01) // 24. Somebody’s Gonna Die Tonigh (Dave Bing feat. Lil’ Mo) // 25. Holla Holla [Remix] (Ja Rule feat. Jay-Z, Vita, Black Child, Tah Murdah, Memphis Bleek & Busta Rhymes)

Crew albums have always been popular in hiphop and if We Are Young Money and Cruel Summer are any indication they aren’t going anywhere. They have always sucked too. Who wants to hear a bunch of people rap who just happen to hold a more famous person’s pot for him or be his body guard? This is a problem with a wholly original interesting artist and his posse, since people usually aren’t thrilled to listen to poor imitations of a famous rapper, which is usually the result if you let all your friends have a turn in the booth. What is the result if the artist that is supposed to bring in the crowds is derivative himself? In the case of Ja Rule second rate gangsta’isms become third rate. The concept of originality is thrown down a flight of stairs and Ja’s weaknesses become painfully clear when we have him yelling clichés at piss poor beats with Mitsubishi Tah and Crack Child.

DMX comes around to show these busters Caddilac Tah and Black Child how it’s done on Tales from the Dark Side under the condition that he doesn’t have to share a song with them. It’s a favour to his homeboy Irv Gotti, not Jeffrey Atkins, who isn’t invited to the party either.

Irv Gotti presents the Murderers is a precursor to a lot of things. The Ja-DMX beef (Tales From the Darkside). Murder Inc. Records dumping the ill-fitting Ruff Ryders-esque style of hardcore rap for something a little more melodic (If You Were My Bitch). And the the rap careers of Caddilac Tah, Vita and Black Child being stopped in their tracks (everything else). These guys are so obnoxiously terrible that they actively ruin some pretty good beats on the rare occasions they get one such as on the bluesy We Getting High Tonight  and the G-funk throwback Get It Right. On the bonus remix of Jeffrey’s first hit single Holla Holla you’ll actually be relieved when Black Child’s verse ends even if he passes the torch to goddamn Roc-a-Fella Records nobody Memphis Bleek, after which Busta Rhymes run laps around everyone before him and Jeffrey is left to attempt to clean up the mess.

Best tracks
How Many Wanna Die, Tales From the Dark Side, Holla Holla [Remix]

Recommendations
Download the DMX song off iTunes.


Ja Rule – Rule 3:36

Ja Rule
Rule 3:36
October 10, 2000
Murder Inc. Records/ Def Jam Recordings/ UMG

045/100

1. Intro // 2. Watching Me // 3. Between Me and You (feat. Christina Milian) // 4. Put It On Me (feat. Vita) // 5. 6. Feet Underground // 6. Love Me, Hate Me // 7. Die (feat. Tah Murdah, Black Child & Dave Bing) // 8. Fuck You (feat. 0-1 & Vita) // 9. I’ll Fuck You Girl [Skit] // 10. Grey Box [Skit] // 11. Extasy (feat. Tah Murdah, Black Child & Jayo Felony) // 12. It’s Your Life (feat. Shade Sheist) // 13. I Cry (feat. Lil’ Mo) // 14. One of Us // 15. Chris Black [Skit] // 16. The Rule Won’t Die

Jeffrey Atkins’ debut album Venni Vetti Vecci managed to sell over two million copies. That album boasted one massive hit single: Holla Holla which was made specifically for the dancefloor, but the rest of the album was a rather hardcore affair, in the tradition of DMX, not quite as good as X lyrically but still beter overall because the album lacked Swizz Beats fucking it up musically. On the follow-up Rule 3:36 the radio and the streets get equal time and attention, making it a rather schizophrenic affair. On the one hand there’s “hard” songs, such as Fuck You, where Ja tries to convince you that he definitely will fuck you up if he feels like it. On the other he is being the sensitive ladies man on Put It On Me, and he even cops to crying every once in a while on I Cry. This trans-demographic approach may have helped Ja sell hella albums and become the king of crossover thugs, but it didn’t give this album shelf life. Listening to it twelve years after it came out one must conclude that almost none of it works anymore.

The street songs are a lot more amped up than last time around, courtesy of Irv Gotti who apparently got a brand new casio keyboard for christmas. Ja adjusts accordingly by shouting, barking and singing his rhymes a lot more than on his debut. The results of this are that he finally becomes the poor man’s DMX he had already been oft accused of being in reviews of his debut. He gets assists from not a single A-list guest artist, but almost exclusively from his Murder Inc labelmates. Tah Murdah, Black Child, Vita, Dave Bing and 01 all suck at this rap stuff, and don’t add anything good to the proceedings.

On the radio songs he croons his heart out to the ladies, trouble is he has a horrible singing voice, sounding alot like a constipated person with a throat condition parodying Barry White. The ladies brought in to respond to his calls, Christina Milian, Lil’ Mo, are generic-as-hell singers who couldn’t inject personality into a performance if they had one.

The subject matter also doesn’t do the listener any favours. On the catchy yet hollow Between Me and You he brags about his homewrecking and cheating in such a wittless manner that one has to wonder what woman could possibly give a fuck. On Love Me, Hate Me he parades the fact that a lot of people want to bring him down because they are jealous of him. I prefer to think that even in 2000 there ware some people around with decent taste, who just wanted this bullshit off the radio. On the same track we learn that he fears that “[he] might get shot like Big & Pac for [his] genius.” I can’t see how Gotti let that one slide. Because DMX has songs about spirituality Rule decided he should have one too. One of Us is entirey awful, with Ja rewriting Joan Osborne’s What If God Was One of Us, and shouting what he came up with to the listener over an instrumental that sounds like something Swizz Beats might’ve puked out the next morning after a night of heavy drinking.

The album’s one good moment is Extasy, an ode to the drug where Rule interpolates a Barry White hook, Gotti provides the best instrumental of the evening, one that quite seccesfully emulates the feeling the drug gives its users, and where West Coast underground rapper Yayo Felony provides a stellar guest verse.

That’s it. That’s the only good song on here. Leave the rest of this alone like it is crack.

Best track:
Extasy

Recommendations:
Get Extasy off iTunes, leave the rest alone.