Tag Archives: Columbia Records

Wham! – Fantastic

Wham!
Fantastic
July 9, 1983
Innervision/ Columbia/ SME
055/100
Wham! - Fantastic
1. Bad Boys // 2. A Ray of Sunshine // 3. Love Machine // 4. Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do?) // 5. Club Tropicana // 6. Nothing Looks the Same In the Light // 7. Come On // 8. Young Guns (Go For It!)

Fantastic, the debut album of UK-based 1980s blue eyed soul duo Wham! is one of those albums that is uniformly shitted upon, not only by music connaisseurs but especially by its creator (the guy who wrote, composed, sang and produced everything on this record) George Michael. Three of the singles released, as well as that album-title seem to indicate that it was meant to play as a sort of practical joke on the listener. Wham! Rap (Enjoy What You Do?) and Young Guns (Go For It!) appear to be a parodies of sorts of topical Kurtis Blow rap-disco songs. The former glorifies unemployment and mooching off ones parents, the latter laments the concept of early marriage. Then there’s Bad Boys which is a whiny synth-pop ditty about the joys of defying ones parents hopes and expectations of you becoming a functioning member of society, a sentiment which is also an undercurrent on the former two songs.

It’s a shame that these dated, goofy travesties of songs are the songs best remembered off Fantastic because there’s more positive, less gimmicky hedonism to be found on this record. On the one single that actually sounds like Wham! gave a fuck about what they were doing; Club Tropicana, there’s silliness a plenty, but this cheese is less stinky. And the faux-latin disco instrumental and catchy-as-ebola hook make this one a summertime jam for the ages.
A Ray of Sunshine and Come On are more generic, but no less fun in their rubbery throwaway funk-lite vapidness. The same goes for the Miracles-cover Love Machine, which sounds pretty much exactly like the original version, except caucasian. These, and especially the atmospherically hungover/blue ballad Nothing Looks the Same in the Light, in retrospect appear to indicate of Michael’s future one-hundred-million+ records sold. They also make up over half of this half hour-album’s running time, so while Fantastic is far from perfect, (even calling it good would be a bit of a stretch) it’s not complete shit as George Michael would have you believe.

Best tracks
A Ray of Sunshine
Club Tropicana
Come On
Nothing Looks the Same in the Light

Recommendations
1980s post-disco aficianados may want to give the above four tracks a spin.


Public Enemy – Fear of a Black Planet

Public Enemy
Fear of a Black Planet
March 20, 1990
Def Jam RecordingsColumbia RecordsSME
070/100
Public_Enemy-Fear_Of_A_Black_Planet-Frontal
1. Contract on the World Love Jam // 2. Brothers Gonna Work It Out // 3. 911 Is a Joke // 4. Incident at 66.6 FM // 5. Welcome to the Terrordome // 6. Meet the G. That Killed Me // 7. Pollywanacraka // 8. Anti-Nigger Machine // 9. Burn Hollywood Burn (feat. Ice Cube & Big Daddy Kane) // 10. Power to the People // 11. Who Stole the Soul? // 12. Fear of a Black Planet // 13. Revolutionary Generation // 14. Can’t Do Nuttin’ for Ya Man // 15. Reggie Jax // 16. Leave This Off Your Fucking Charts // 17. B Side Wins Again // 18. War at 33⅓ // 19. Final Count of the Collision Between Us and the Damned // 20. Fight the Power

This record has shock tactics written all over it, well compared to Public Enemy’s previous album that is, not in the grander scheme of things. It’s not as though It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back shied away from potential controversy. It most certainly did not. But it didn’t have a song titled Burn Hollywood Burn on it either. Perhaps the absence of Rick Rubin allowed them to speak their minds in a less politically correct manner. After all, would it really be a good idea for a white guy to man the boards, recording a song called The Anti Nigger Machine, social commentary or not? It certainly was a bad idea for group member Professor Griff to make anti semitic remarks in a Washington Times interview not long before Fear of a Black Planet was to be created, publicity stunt or not. It is for this reason he was given the boot by Chuck D, albeit temporarily, and he didn’t participate in the recording either.

I don’t know why it is that Rubin left. He is jewish and Griff did say some vile shit about god’s chosen people, but like I said: that racist motherfucker was out. Maybe Public Enemy and the Bomb Squad figured that two albums into their career they had enough knowledge, experience and a sizeable enough fanbase of their own to get by without him. Fact is that Rubin did leave and the difference in sound quality is immediately noticeable. It’s not like the Bomb Squad fail to bring the noise, they certainly are competent producers. But the beats do sound somewhat less rich and polished than they did under Rubin. The difference isn’t huge or anything, but it is there.

Besides the sound being slightly less tight overall and the guys getting a little more caustic, possibly under the influence of their new friend Ice Cube who in 1990 was the agriest motherfucker on the planet, which is a story for another day, it is for the most part a continuation of the chosen direction for Chuck, Terminator X and Flav.
That “wall of noise” thing they had introduced the last time around had worked pretty well and Chuck D had always been as dope an MC as they come so why wouldn’t it be?

Fear of a Black Planet mostly concerns itself with institutional racism, which makes this album incredibly current since that discussion is very much a thing right now.
911 Is a Joke, mostly performed by Flavor Flav takes a dump on emergency help services for poorly responding to incidents in black majority neighbourhood areas.
Burn Hollywood Burn, which because of its line up is every old school head’s wet dream and rightfully so since it sounds terrific, is about negative portrayal of black people in tv. series and films. On the Incedent at 66.6FM the Beastie Boys get called out, possibly for being a white band stealing and polluting appropriating and gentrifying a traditionally black artform.
The title track goes against anti-interracial relationship bigotry, and there are many other critiques of other forms of percieved racism on here. You can agree or disagree with the points being made, but you can’t say these guys don’t make them with gusto, flair and engagement, plus it generally makes for sonically fairly enjoyable music.

All things considered Fear of a Black Planet is a good album that should satisfy fans of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back. Fact is that it’s not quite as good as that album is, which could be attributed to the loss of Rubin and perhaps Professor Griff depending whether he actually did anything musical in the group, but that’s not necessarily crippling the listening experience. After all lots of music is both not as good as that album and nevertheless still perfectly listenable.

Best tracks
911 Is a Joke
Burn Hollywood Burn
Fear of a Black Planet
Fight the Power

Recommendation
Pick this up.


Public Enemy – It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

Public Enemy
It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
June 28, 1988
Def Jam RecordingsColumbia RecordsSME
090/100
it-takes-a-nation-of-millions-to-hold-us-back-by-public-enemy
1. Countdown to Armageddon // 2. Bring the Noise // 3. Don’t Believe the Hype // 4. Cold Lampin’ With Flavor // 5. Terminator X to the Edge of Panic // 6. Mind Terrorist // 7. Louder Than a Bomb // 8. Caught, Can We Get a Witness // 9. Show ’em Whatcha Got // 10. She Watch Channel Zero?! // 11. Night of the Living Baseheads // 12. Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos // 13. Security of the First World // 14. Rebel With a Pause // 15. Prophets of Rage // 16. Party for Your Right to Fight

It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back was the album that broke rapper Chuck D, hypeman flava Flav and DJ Terminator X; collectively known as Public Enemy, to the masses and showed the world that there was a market for densely produced, vigourously performed rap songs about unapologetically Afrocentric subject matter and social commentary interchanged with swaggering party tracks. It outsold their more B-boy orented 1987 debut Yo! Bum Rush the Show and went gold within a week of release. Obviously they didn’t do all this alone. They were aided by the Bomb Squad, a production crew consisting of Hank Shocklee, his brother Keith, Eric “Vietnam” Sandler, G-Whiz and Chuck D himself. They developed a new hip-hop sound that was charactarised by the intrumental being packed to the gills with samples. It was later dubbed “the wall of noise”, analoguous to Phil Spector’s revolutionary “wall of sound” in the ’60s. The impressive thing is that that is hardly an overstatement. Compare how different for instance N.W.A sounded on N.W.A and the Posse and Straight Outta Compton. Then check out It Takes a Nation Of Millions to Hold Us Back, which came out a month before the latter and try to make the case that this album wasn’t a profound influence and that it didn’t pretty much reinvent rap music, changing it forever making it more musically complex and better in general.

You can’t because it did.

Overseeing this merry band of young, ambitious whippersnappers was super producer Rick Rubin who has a career trajectory that is pretty much unrivaled both in scope and in longevity. Dude produced everyone from Johnny Cash to Eminem, started working in 1982 and show no sign of slowing down today. It Takes a Million isn’t one of his lesser achievements.

Most good hip-hop combines music that sets a mood with a rapper with a unique mic presence and persona. It Takes a Million is no exception. Its storming beats are the perfect environment for Chuck D to land his equally intense vocals onto while Flava Flav rides shotgun. It Takes a Million is via the intro and a couple of skits framed as a live album which it most certainly is not. If however any hip-hop album is so energetic you can pretty much taste the music as it plays, as though it’s being constructed right in front of you, it is this one. The album kicks off with the pumping Bring the Noise and never loses stamina. The album never goes slower than midtempo and does even that only very rarely. The late ’80s were a simpler time for rap artists. “Slow jams for the ladies” were not yet necessary inclusions for Def Jam Records to consider a project for release, let alone weird EDM-rap mutations. In stead the listener is treated to a musical firestorm. You can disagree with these guys’ politics, but even then it would be incredibly difficult to deny the infectiousness of their music. Chuck D’s rhymes about his views on Nation of Islam and opression of blacks, among other subjects, are intense and authorative-sounding throughout.

It’s difficult to choose highlights from this album because it is an integral success and this is one of those albums which one should enjoy in its entirety. Still, personal favourites of yours truly are the rambunctious opener Bring the Noise, the teapot-whistle of Terminator X To the Edge later rebooted on Rebel Without a Pause, the fast-paced funk groove of Caught, Can We Get a Witness? The ’80s-rock tinged closer Party For Your Right to Fight is dope as hell, as are the ominous piano keys of Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos. Even the tracks that aren’t complete songs work: the sax-riff looping instrumental  Show ’em Whatcha Got and the also vocal-less drum break Security Of the First World are sound music making, the latter two later served as the basis for completely different songs by other artists: Rump Shaker by Wrecx-N-Effect and Justify My Love respectively, and many other songs via those tracks getting jacked.

If you haven’t yet heard It takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back I suggest you drop everything and find a way to listen to it ASAP, it’s that good.

Best tracks
Bring the Noise
Terminator X to the Edge of Panic
Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos
Rebel With a Pause
Party For Your Right to Fight

Recommendations
Buy this album.


John Mayer – Heavier Things

John Mayer
Heavier Things
September 9, 2003
Aware RecordsColumbia RecordsSME
062/100
John Mayer - Heavier Things
1. Clarity // 2. Bigger Than My Body // 3. Something’s Missing // 4. New Deep // 5. Come Back to Bed // 6. Home Life // 7. Split Screen Sadness // 8. Daughters // 9. Only Heart // 10. Wheel

Singer-songwriter John Mayer’s first full length album Room For Squares sold milions of copies and unexpectedly so. Who knew women of all ages have a soft spot for a guitar-strummy pretty boy velvettily crooning his little heart out about his feelings regarding the fairer sex and his aspirations? (Please don’t answer that in the comment section, that was a rhetorical question.)
Yes Room For Squares was aimed at the heart of the white middle aged housewife demographic adult contemporary radio, and it was incredibly dull. But it still served a purpose in being the perfect soundtrack to an hour or so spent in a Starbucks by members the then-budding hipster community. And if you paid attention to it and managed to stay awake doing so, you would discover that Mayer was a pretty good songwriter with attention to detail and has some pretty good observation skills.
I would give you a example of where Squares offers these qualities here but I cannot remember a single song off Squares beyond Your Body Is a Wonderland, which isn’t a very good example of what is good about John Mayer, despite being his signature song, well until Daughters was released as a single, which also isn’t showing Mayer’s best side, but I digress.

Heavier Things isn’t a grand departure from Squares or anything, but it does sound different enough in that the sound is beefed up justlittle bit. This upgrades Mayer’s music from the sort of adult contemporary radio music you don’t really notice being on to the sort of adult contemporary radio music that gets stuck in your head. In short Heavier Things‘ producer, Jack Joseph Puig, did something to Mayer’s music Room For Squares‘ producer, John Alagia couldn’t; make it memorable at times. Those times are the album-opener Clarity, the next song Bigger Than My Body and Come Back to Bed.
Oh and Daughters is memorable too, although it’s debatable whether it’s positive or negative for that particular song.

Clarity is relaxing and uplifting at the same time and has Mayer’s corduroy croon slide into smooth falsetto on the hook. This combined with the soulful instrumentation makes for something much richer than anything off his debut.
Bigger Than My Body is where the album really picks up steam and ups the tempo. It is unfortunate that Mayer never really comes back to it because this type of faster song (relatively speaking off course, this is still Mayer so the song is still going to be chilled enough to not disrupt a dinnertable conversation) fits him like a glove. Unfortunately the album hits snooze shortly after and never really manages to wake up on time.
On Come Back to Bed however this drowsiness is actually a good thing. On it Mayer pleads to his better half to rejoin him after she got out of the sack because of something he did or didn’t say (What exactly he did wrong he hasn’t figured out himself yet.) It’s gracious, sexy, hooky, bluesy and soulful and would’ve been a big hit if Aware Records/ Columbia had released it as a single.

Then there’s Daughters which has an inescapable hook and could be considered a Hallmark card set to wax or aural dreck leaving a slime trail depending what side of the fence you’re on. This reviewer hates it with every fiber of his body. Contained within it are all those things some wish real boyfriends knew and said, as well as sexism aimed both at women and men in several instances. It may be a well written contemporary pop-classic and all but bleh, this trifle is nauseating.

All of the other songs are alright, nothing more, nothing less. They sound more interesting than the filler off his last album but not by a wide margin. But, in combination with the stand-out songs, they sound good enough to call Heavier Things a fairly big improvement over his first album.

Best tracks
Clarity
Bigger Than My Body
Come Back to Bed
Daughters

Recommendations
Pick this one up. It’s an alright enough record for lazy sundays. Do buy a used copy though if you can find one. This album isn’t necessarily worth a lot of money.


John Mayer – Room For Squares

John Mayer
Room For Squares
June 5, 2001
Aware RecordsColumbia RecordsSME
055/100
John Mayer - Room For Squares
1. No Such Thing // 2. Why Georgia // 3. My Stupid Mouth // 4. Your Body Is a Wonderland // 5. Neon // 6. City Love // 7. 83 // 8. 3X5 // 9. Love Song for No One // 10. Back to You // 11. Great Indoors // 12. Not Myself // 14. St. Patrick’s Day

John Mayer is a rather controversial figure. Depending on whom you ask about him you may get aswers that range musically from guitar-strummy coffee house music-wimp to blues god in the making, and personally from douchebag lothario shagging his way through as many Hollywood debutantes as possible to an entertainingly sober individual with a healthy sense of humour about his celebrity status.

They’re all true to different degrees, depending on what stage of Mayer’s career you’re checking out. With his major-label debut Room For Squares, which recycles five songs from his EP Inside Wants Out, we get a blend of all of them, but the music backing his phlegmatic tenor mostly push this in the coffeehouse wimp territory and the album’s biggest hit, the Grammy awarded Your Body’s a Wonderland, is a prime piece of douchebag lotharionism or a practical joke on the listener, or perhaps both even.

Still for what it’s worth Mayer plays the roll of ‘that boring dick with the guitar that gets the girls to swoon’ with skill and gusto and proves himself to be a pretty skilled songwriter in the process. The opening number No Such Thing is the joint for those who were complete nonfactors in high school but were never that angsty or depressed about it and have since bounced back.
My Stupid Mouth is a potential anthem for those who accidentally call the uncalled for and fuck up socially because of it, and Your Body Is a Wonderland may be everything she needs to hear to give it up already in one neat little package, but it’s still gentle and full of wonder enough to not be the R. Kelly song it for better or worse could‘ve been. It’s also the only thing on here that contains any sort of subject matter that might get any of the young ladies that follow John Mayer’s career to blush because it elaborately talks about fucking, sort of. Apparently John for the time being took his own My Stupid Mouth to heart because all of the other material is so clean it squeaks.
Other highlights are the jazzy nighttime infatuation ride of Neon and the breezy celebration of off-and-on relationships that is Back to You. All of these are skilfully written with attention to detail, but thanks to their production even they all sound alike. Apparently producer John Alagia (of Dave Matthews band fame) is not a fan of risk-taking and Mayer’s later characteristic bluesy guitar playing is left out of this album entirely in favour of poppy jazz lite and folk lite stylings, which may not sound bad but also aren’t remotely memorable. ’83 and 3X5 are so lacklustre this reviewer can’t remember jacques merde about them despite having heard Room for Squares several times in its entirety. That goes for all the songs not mentioned as well.

Room For Squares is promising in that it doesn’t completely suck but isn’t that good either. It’s basically what a Norah Jones album from the same time would’ve sound like if Jones was a guy. Still despite the fact that the presentation is entirely lukewarm a handful of these songs are fairly good and that gives off the promise that Mayer could be an interesting artist if backed by a more engaging sound and let his hair down a little.

Best tracks
No Such Thing
Why Georgia
My Stupid Mouth
Your Body Is a Wonderland
Neon
Back to You

Recommendations
Don’t bother with this one. Chances are these songs can be found a lot more alive-sounding on one of Mayer’s live-albums, or on his acoustic debut EP Inside Wants Out even.


New Kids on the Block – Hangin’ Tough

New Kids on the Block
Hangin’ Tough

September 6, 1988
Columbia RecordsSME
055/100
New Kids on the Block - Hangin' Tough
1. You Got It (The Right Stuff) // 2. Please Don’t Go Girl // 3. I’ll Be Loving You (Forever) // 4. Cover Girl // 5. I Need You // 6. Hangin’ Tough // 7. I Remember When // 8. What’cha Gonna Do (About It) // 9. My Favorite Girl // 10. Hold On

Whenever paying attention to New Kids on the Block I never cease to find amusement in the idea that this group was recruited and assembled solely for the purpose of producer Maurice Starr getting back at his former New Edition pupils for singning to MCA Records to have a succesful career, after he brought them fame by producing their debut and releasing it on his indie label, without him getting any share of the profits whatsoever.
Off course this probably is not reality, or rather it’s not the complete story: New Kids on the Block was started first and foremost to compensate Starr’s lack of said profits because the man, like anyone, enjoyed having an income, although my proposition of Starr’s reasoning is most likely not entirely without truth.

Whichever of the man’s life purposes NKotB primarily served (that’s one shitty acronym, when you pronounce it not one syllable is won from the full name) vengeance or greed, doesn’t really matter because their sophomore album Hangin’ Tough achieved them both in one fell swoop by selling over seventeen million copies worldwide, which is seven million more than New Edition’s and Bobby Brown’s 1988 albums Heart Break and Don’t Be Cruel sold combined. Add to that the three million people who casually picked up a copy of the Kids 1986 self-titled debut, which had been gathering dust on shelves for two years by the time the second one dropped, and you’ll find that the New Kids and Starr sold well over double what New Edition sold that year, despite putting out somewhat derivative, inferior product. I’m not sure what of many possible causes led to this situation but to some it would seem that Starr was willing to get his goals of being filthily rich and victorious over New Edition by any means, even if that meant riding so called institutional racism that disadvantaged other members of his own so called race.

Hangin’ Tough plays like New Kids of the Block but a bit more streamlined and a bunch less funky. It would seem that the advent of New Jack Swing didn’t go unnoticed by producer Starr. Indeed Hangin’ Tough sounds like Teddy’s tinny-drum-machine-‘n’-keyboards sound chill filtred to neutrality, with some rock-ish guitars thrown in to please white parents. The result of Maurice fucking around with this sound is some impeccably produced and sung ballads and dance numbers. Despite getting the sound down Hangin’ Tough lacks the attitude to be credible to the homeboys in the streets the way Guy or Bobby brown or the sexiness to appeal to Al B. Sure! and Keith Sweat’s ladies. That was quite alright though because Starr was aiming for an entirely different demographic, one which got their albums by whining at their parents to buy them (One of the more effective ways of marketing stuff, today as much as then).
With this in mind it was probably the right decision to strip the music of every notion of personality and settle for catchy and hollow. This album is filled to the brim with the kind of naive visions of love people in their early teens can relate to, performed confidently and quite good by five handsome boys girls in their early teens like to look at on posters on bedroom walls.

Knowing that, it is probably a moot point to call the album insincere, plastic and soulless (which off course are things this album is) but I kid you not, listening to Hangin’ Tough makes one reconsider New Kids on the Block‘s artistry because that album with it’s jingling guitars, vocoder work and funky air of 100% raw milk queso sounded a lot more fun than this pasteurised horseshit. Who knew a bunch of white kids from Boston would be better at aping the Jackson Five innocently and joyfully than they ever were at trying their hand at something slicker and tougher? (I suppose all of you are now raising your hands at their computer screen, you do realise that I can’t see you, right?)

Nevertheless I have no real issues with Hangin’ Tough I suppose. I couldn’t remember so much as a single individual song after Hangin’ Tough was through, which must mean nothing even sucked memorably about it.

Best tracks
Please Don’t Go Girl

Recommendations
Meh.


New Kids on the Block – New Kids on the Block

New Kids on the Block
New Kids on the Block
April 1, 1986
Columbia RecordsSME
063/100
NKOTB - NKOTB
1. Stop It Girl // 2. Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind) // 3. Popsicle // 4. Angel // 5. Be My Girl // 6. New Kid on the Block // 7. Are You Down // 8. I Wanna Be Loved By You // 9. Don’t Give Up On Me // 10. Treat Me Right

So it’s 1986 and New Edition was a big thing with several platinum albums under their collective belt. Bobby got the hell out of dodge, but his solo debut album was dropping soon enough, and his career was definitely going places from there, not all of them good but the man did reach the highest highs heights as well as the lowest lows of anyone in the group. The other four members dropped their first and last album as a quartet, a collection of standards that had been performed to death several times over already before any NE member had even learnt to talk, that while not being very exciting at least proved that they were still a thing. And what’s more, soon they would be joined by Johnny Gill whose dark chocolate vocals would give them soul creditials previously unattainable. So yeah Ronnie, Ricky, Ralph, Mike and Bobby (and Johnny) had all come far on the road to succes that they started walking in 1983 with their group debut Candy Girl.

And Maurice Starr, business savvy teen pop svengali was understandably pissed off about all this, because he had discovered the boys, produced their debut album and then just when the money started coming in they left him out to rot by signing to MCA records and not employing him as their producer.
Starr plotted his revenge, not only on NE but also on the entire world (*twirls moustache and laughs maniacally*) and immediately assembled another group of kids to sing and dance their way to stardom and fill his pockets. Only this time they were all white, which opened up an entirely new market, since these teen pop groups were most succesful with those audiences that could identify with or have a crush on the performers, which is the main reason why there are black Barbies on the market and main characters of all races and both sexes in sitcoms. Relatability people, the trick to selling something mass-produced is to make the consumer believe that your product is specifically about/for him/ her. And starting in 1986 there was a white version of the New Edition of the Jackson 5 on the market as well. Arguably there had been such a thing already in the form of the Osmonds, but the Osmonds were actually family like the Jacksons. NE and NKOTB were manufactured product. Especially New Kids on the Block who were recruited from five hundred auditioning boys and pieced together both by mastermind Starr.

The teenaged girls never even stood a chance.

Donnie Wahlberg, his little brother Mark, his best friend Danny Wood, one-time schoolmate Jordan Knight and his older brother Jonathan were the chosen ones, so while NKOTB weren’t all related to one another there were two pairs of brothers in the group, and they probably were all at the very least vaguely familiar with each other before they became a boyband in 1984. Well initially they were. Mark was replaced by Joey McIntyre for having ADHD concentration problems or something. This time around Starr decided not to release their debut on his Warlock label but had them signed to Columbia, so they dropped it in 1986 and then… nothing.

Apparently the teenaged girls resisted the temptation just fine, thank you very much. Maybe the sweaters and shirts the guys wore on the front cover were too godawful for the ’80s even. Anyway, Starr had some explaining to do in the Columbia offices because he hadn’t made the executives richer. And then Columbia didn’t release NKOTB from their contracts, nor did they fire Starr as the group’s producer, which is a peculiar thing to do for a record company, but it paid off ultimately because their ’88 sophomore album, backed by better marketing sold seventeen million copies worldwide. Then in a brilliant bit of marketing Columbia decided to release a third single off their debut right in the middle of promoting their sophomore in the summer of ’89. That song, a Delphonics Cover titled Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind) with Jordan on leads, became a hit, like every NKOTB song released in that day and age and the debut went triple platinum after gather gathering dust on record store shelves for three years, kinda like how Blunted of Reality rode the Score‘s coattails in 1996.

So what does it actually sound like? Well, New Kids on the Block sounds exactly like Candy Girl. There’s the same jingling guitars, the same vocoder work courtesy of Starr himself, there’s a different Michael Jackson emulator doing most of the leads (Joey), there’s a kid with a somewhat gruffer voice busting out the occasional rap filling Bobby’s roll (Donnie), there’s a lot of saccharine love songs, there’s a primitive rap jam with redundant handclaps  where everyone takes a turn behind the mic. If Maurice Starr learnt any new tricks since creating Candy Girl he sure goes out of his way to hide it from the listener. Someone should take a time machine to 1997 and hand this album over to Puff Diddy and Pastor Ma$e because they sampled the shit out of songs off NE’s debut on several occasions but appear to have completely overlooked this one as a source of recycle-able grooves.

The albums are so similar in fact that I don’t even have to think of a new end for this review:
Most of these songs are sunny, mildly funky electronic pop-soul concoctions that may be a bit too cheerful, saccharine and exuberant for some people’s tastes (New Kids on the Block was after all the world’s second manufactured, producer-groomed boyband) but as far as teen-pop goes this is pretty terrific stuff. Hooky hooks, danceable instrumentation and lyrics that are simple but never nonsensical. Stop It GirlPopsicle and Angel stand out in particular, although Are You Down and Treat Me Right (can you guess the recurring theme in these songs?) don’t fall far behind.

Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind?) and I Wanna Be Loved By You are respectively pretty sweet death-of-puppy-love and yearning-for-puppy-love ballads, and although Joey can’t really fuck with mid-’70s Michael in this type of song (who can really?) he’s still got a lot more soul than your average teen heartthrob in the Justin Bieber/ Donny Osmond category.

New Kids on the Block is, like most teen pop albums, pure uncut fluff. It is however pretty good fluff. And while it doesn’t even hint at the greatness what was  to come in the form of follow-up albums and solo projects by its various members it is more often than not bouncy, groovy, catchy music that’ll get you to tap your foot or nod you head or do whatever your music listening tic forces you to do. And for that it warrants a revisit, although you may want to pick up Candy Girl by New Edition first because it’s a slightly better album.

Best tracks
Stop It Girl
Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind)
Popsicle
Angel
I Wanna Be Loved By You

Recommendations
Pick this up if you find it for a reasonable price. It isn’t very substantial or very original, but the guys have nice voices and Maurice Starr gave them catchy songs. And if you don’t take it too seriously and don’t over-analise it you can have a lot of fun with it.